We gallantly stormed into THE PAVILLION Night Club like the YBNL crew guys in Lagos Boys video with our fitted nice white T-shirts, blank pants, red sneakers and shades, and took our seats at a free spot. It was my first time of going to a bar. My friends had persuaded me to unwind and forget all the issues at home.
“Make your order guys on me” Dan announced as we watched the pretty girls dancing on stage.
Soon, bottles of different shapes and sizes filled our table as if competing for the Headies award. Pretty girls on bum shots and armless tops short enough to reveal their belly buttons trooped to our table.
My friends had them two each while an innocent me just kept staring at the waitress.
I couldn’t see her clearly as she backed us. Her shapes were perfect. Even in her loose gown, her curves came out clearly. She occasionally turned her neck to allow her long hair dangle from side to side. Just as I kept on admiring her, one of the dancing girls came to me in a seducing manner and sat on my laps.
“Hi Handsome.” She said, running her hands through my face. I felt like I was having a cold bath in harmattan.
Before I could say “Hello”, she has removed the cigarette stick from her mouth and placed it on mine. Was that supposed to be a kiss? I thought. Somehow, I didn’t cough, for a first time and pretended to be a “bad guy.”
My eyes still followed every movement of the pretty waitress who wouldn’t turn to face us. I was bent on seeing her face and saying “hello’ before leaving. As if God was listening to my prayers, Dan announced that he had ordered some barbeque. At least that would bring the waitress to or table.
I quickly repositioned making the hot girl relax well on my legs so I could look more like a “bad guy” and held my cigarette firmly while shifting more bottles to my side like I had drank them all.
Soonest, the waitress arrived and she tapped me to say;
“Sir, here’s your meal”
I turned like Don Jazzy and was just about saying “Hello Beautiful” when she shouted: “Osazemwen!” who dare called me my native name in school?
Behold, it was Mum! And this was the ungodly job..
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